Monthly Archives: January 2012




Being gay is hard for us as adults imagine what it’s like for teenager or even worse our preteens,. Struggling to find their place and purpose in the world and wanting to feel accepted by their peers and the rest of society. Dealing with not only the peer pressures of being a teen, they also deal with the pressure of being a gay teen. A gay teenager has the added concern that the outside hostility influenced by religion or just plain bigotry would make them an outcast at a time in their lives when they need most to fit in. The brain does not completely mature until between the ages of 23-25, not having their brain fully matured yet makes them susceptible to verbal and emotional abuse where if hearing enough times that they are NO good, that they are less than anyone else, they very well may believe this. For some of us we just have to close our eyes and remember what it was like and how in some cases it still is like. The constant reminder ur different. The constant reminder ur NOT part of the majority. Take that feeling…take what ever memories that have u still sitting in front of ur PC reading this and pass it on to our gay youth, Help them become strong and have the same chance as u.

One way to help that I ask all my readers to use is the World Wide Web Highway. Just about everyone is connected today. Everyone on Facebook logs on hoping to find kind greetings and funny comments, dedicated love songs and sexy pictures, silly jokes or just a poke or two, but how many of those people hope to find a pat on the back, a praise for nothing more than being u? How many of the kids come online day in and day out hoping they’d find “a way”, a simple “solution” to what they see as only “a problem”. Hoping to find a way to come out, to tell their parents or maybe even just their friends.

Being gay should not be seen by anyone as something to despise or reject and even less by the gay person themselves. It should not make anyone have to feel like a pariah or an enigma. Yet, every day more and more children are discovering they are different faster & earlier than ever before. Different in a way that is still so unaccepted by many of those that matter the most. By those who help mold a youth’s life. the very people that are suppose to be helping them grow, helping them become the best that they can be. The parents, teachers, coach, religious leaders and even their older siblings, yet they are the very same people ignorant and hateful of what they obviously cannot understand and sadly are the very cause for these children not getting the approval, love and understanding they need to make it, to survive….to WANT to survive. Often ending in the taking of their own lives.

Sometimes, it’s not even that these role models in a child’s life reject these children for being gay, but simply the lack of communication brings them to the same place of confusion, the same place of fear. These role models need to accept that Homosexuality exist and seek out the children that may be experiencing this realization and guide them, lead them as u would do for anyone with special needs or special interest. The child that wants to play football gets sent to the coach. U know a city child that like horseback riding u may want to look up stables they can visit, u see an unusually beautiful child u may help them seek modeling agencies, u come across a gay child, u need to find them support groups.

PLEASE, my readers I ask of u one simple favor…add links that can help them. If we can change the outlook of just 1 person each time we post a “Support Gays” Site. We are making a difference. Find one and pass it on.

Open doors, open minds and save lives.

I will add a list below, copy some or copy them all, and paste them on ur FB status, or email them to a friend. A leader type person that may have access to gay youth, to parents of gay youth, to anyone that will listen and hopefully pass it on to others.

All that matter is that our gay babies lost in the world can read them and see …THERE IS SUPPORT. WE ARE NOT ALONE! WE ARE WORTHY!! THEY ARE WORTHY! Help me save our young brothers and sister. Let’s be here for them.



Below is a list of some of the links u can post to save our Gay Youth from taking there lives. This is not over dramatization. This is a plead to make a difference. I understand when homosexuality was taboo we had to live in fear for our lives, but today we have made a difference and we need to keep going, it’s not over. Yes, the world is accepting more that we exist but that doesn’t mean that people stopped being cruel and mean and parents all understand that some of us were not born the lil girl or boy they dreamed of. Gay children are becoming aware of their same sex preferences at an earlier age thanks to advance technology and the media’s openness but sadly they are still afraid to tell their parents and find themselves feeling like a misfit or an abomination and death seems more honorable than shame.


I ask that in the same way u talk to ur children about drugs and sex and how to not talk to strangers, u need to teach ur children that its ok to come to u and tell u anything. ANYTHING. Mention what some of these things can be and please feel free to mention “Differences”. “A good simple way of doing that is like this. “Son/Daughter if u ever feel that what u like in life may seem different than what the other boys/girls like …it’s ok to be different. It’s ok to tell me u don’t like the same things, it’s ok to tell me what things u do like. Ur unique and no matter what u will always be my child and I will love u NO MATTER what.” Simple. there are all kinds of different people out there and different doesn’t mean bad. That calling names and making fun of other children hurts and being “gay” is not a cause for ridicule. Just like u don’t want them to tease the heavy set lil girl or the missing arm boy, or the ones that wear glasses or braces, u will not accept ridicule of those who like different things, or like things that u may not like for as long as those things are in the realm of legal, there shouldn’t be any reason to treat them any different then they would treat any other child.  


It’s ok to be different. It’s ok Sue, if this morning u woke up from dreaming of Michelle and how good it felt to hold her close. It’s ok Mike that ur heart skip a beat when Josh smiled at u after the football game.  It’s ok Ann that u hate dresses and the color pink and u rather wear ur brothers flannel shirts and boxers or that u feel better learning to fix the car then being in the kitchen learning how to cook and Jerry it’s perfectly ok if u rather learn to cook and sing and dance and care nothing for sports or racing cars.

Nothing says we have to like what every one of our gender likes. It’s ok to be different and it’s ok if u are afraid. We all are at one point or another. We are all confused about something or the other every now and then and no one fits in every circle. U will find where u belong and u will feel as loved and wanted there as everyone else feels when they find their little nook of the woods. If u feel ur different and u won’t be accepted, before u do anything first remember this…U ARE NOT ALONE. There are many of us like u. Ok, now that u know that, take a deep breath, take ur time, find out more about what u are feeling. It’s as simple as clicking on this link

Also, feel free to visit all the links below.


All the links above are good for adults and kids, straight or gay, but the one below I suggest more for those people who might have been harsh once, or not very considerate or understand towards someone gay. A good place to let it all out if the guilt is consuming u or if u simply wish to let ur gay loved one know how special they are to u.




Trevor Helpline 
For gay, lesbian, bisexual or questioning youth 
1- 800-850-8078 (24 hrs)

NYC Youthline

Suicide Prevention Hotline

I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to let those gay youth u come across understand they are accepted. They are no different than any other child and they are loved. God gave me several chances to come back when I couldn’t deal with the rejection and I want to believe that I am here to help others from making the same mistake. I was lucky but that doesn’t mean they will be.

A good place to write about what u feel is in the link below. Who knows maybe u can help another gay youth. 🙂 


Thank you for reading this. Those that made it to the bottom of the page… I know that u are already making a difference. Just remember it might had gotten easier for us, but for every new young gay it’s a brand new struggle. Let’s make that journey easier every way possible.

*Ms. B. Haven*